The drama in Junior Year wasn’t necessarily very “engaging”, but I felt as though I learned a lot from some of the feats (VOC was a success!) and failures (Amy Tran, not so much). Alas, despite all that, I felt like there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed as to what made it a success.
VOC clearly boosted up my self esteem and made me who I am today. I was also in Choir this year, so things were going quite well. I also got a solo, for choir specifically! Yes, surprise…. surprise. I got a solo. WTF, some people would ask. I even ask that question myself sometimes. It was for a musical performance called Guys and Dolls, and although I didn’t have the voice, I loved being a choir (despite the one time that a Mexican stole some people’s monies, and the police searched everyone in our class to try to find out who stole it). Oh well.
This was also the year I got a ton of free stuff – Ipods, Nesquik t-shirts, lots of things. Mastering the power of the Internet helped push my role as a cyber-geek to this present day.
In retrospect, I really do not want to talk about myself throughout this blog, so I’m going to put some former emails people sent me, plus former blogs from my Xanga and incorporate it into this new blog (until I can delete my Xanga indefinitely). Here goes:
9/04/06 Lina Thach to me: TELL ME WHO U FREAKIN LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! (spanish) NO JUSTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, Lina, to answer your question, I’m not going to answer it publicly, but this is clearly before the “Yam Nart” era, which we go into further detail later.
As the year of APUSH, Ap Bio, Blandford for English, among other things… I felt like Bunnell wasn’t a “Great” teacher, Lambert wasn’t “great”, nor was blandford. They were all pretty ordinary, and it was thus made into a very ordinary year. Average teaching does not produce excellence, but it was up to me to solidify my base as a student.
10/15/06 The College Board: I took the SAT’s this year… didn’t do too well, and tried re-taking the test, but got an even lower score…. in fact, maybe that’s the obstacle that prevented me from getting to UCLA. Oh well.
Your Target.com order has shipped (#601-6229054-2788136)
Yeah, I got Donnie Darko for free online this year too. I love that movie, regardless of how bizarre/silly it might seem to some.
This year was also the year of the epic abortion debate (me being on the pro-life side). We won, with an argument comparing pro-choicers to Hitler (written by your very own, Kevin Kim). In retrospect, I wished I had that speech again so I could share it with you all.
Here’s some stuff from a biography presentation we did at the end of the year:
Exactly what I will be saying and doing:
Learning is a change in behavior based on personal experiences.
I will write bold terms on the board while I am telling my story.
“Once upon a time in an era not from now, a boy named Sonny popped out of his mother and over the years, he has learned to become the Sonny he is today. Around the age of 13, he ultimately went through a stage of maturation, where he developed secondary sex characteristics in order to become the man he is today. [These are changes in his neuromuscular systems].
Draw Picture of a Boy on the Board.
Make a T Chart Listing the differences between Learning and Maturation.
- Change in behavior based on personal EXPERIENCES
– Sonny learning to swim
- Birds learning to sing new song dialects
- Change in behavior based on INTERNAL developmental changes
– Sonny developed secondary sex characteristics
- Birds flying. They didn’t LEARN how to fly. They always had the ability but COULD NOT do so until it was a normal flying time.
Later, Sonny would go through habituation, a form of learning where behaviors not needed are eliminated. He never needed the ability to swim on land, and thus didn’t. Another example would be birds recognizing cries of a predator over and over again, but stop responding when the predator doesn’t attempt to attack them.
Next, Sonny would learn some imprinting, a form of learning that he learnt in life that is irreversible. His ability to swim, he’ll never forget now that he has learnt. Young ducks and geese following their mother is another example of this.
Next, Sonny’s critical period, where he learned several behaviors only at a particular point in his life – such as his ability to swim, which he learned when?
Associative learning is the ability of many animals to learn to associate one stimuli (effect) to another.
Draw T-chart on difference between classical and operant conditioning.
Pavlov experiment: sprayed powdered meat into dogs’ mouth causing them to salivate. Rang a bell when they ate. Eventually dogs would salivate in response to the sound alone.
Animal associates reward and punishment on his own.
If Sonny were to swim in a pool of water quickly in a race, he would associate victory with beating his opponent.
If Sonny were to swim in a pool of water vs. a pool of lava, the liquid hotness of the lava would make him see that as a punishment.
Play. Make Monica and Sonny play with one another. Engage in wrestling. Or Sonny stalking Monica. The end.
But it doesn’t matter. its all about sonny.
4/02/07 Kathy Harvey from the Auxiliary also sent me an email: Check out your picture in our April newsletter.
This was one of the few events I never took pictures of, but now we have some remnants of it!
4/16/07: Me, to Brian Nguyen
First of all, Amy Tran has access to your myspace, so I’m not going to comment you with a message regarding her. SECOND OF ALL, you’re in my club so you will get her in. Do it as a favor. I DONT ACCEPT BRIBES. that’s only Richard M. Nixon.
Hrm… let’s back-trace a little. Amy Tran was a girl I like… liked my Junior Year of high school whom, upon seeing her one day randomly popping in my Choir classroom, I was infatuated with. That eventually turned into a crush, and I eventually pursued her – and got her to attend some VOC events, and also the Choir Banquet – where, when I offered her a balloon, she rejected. It was quite harsh, but I moved on from there (or did I?). Yes, I did. I’m older now, and I hope to learn from my past, and not repeat it (NOT, repeat it, that is). And Brian was in her yearbook class, and… still I epic-ly failed in my pursuits.
4/18/07: Brian Nguyen to me
john , talk to amy about books!
she loves to read
6/19/07: Amy tran to me
i got bored (:
If I can recall correctly, I also did an “I love lucy” project for Apush.
And here’s some previous Xanga blogs from the era of Junior High! And if it sounds depressing, it’s probably cause of Amy during this time period.
3-18-07: I learned something. If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it. And if you have bad things to say, don’t say it. I like Blake Lewis.
3-29-07: Spring Break is next week. YES! Well, I have no clue what I’m doing. I’ll make it up as I go.
4-01-07: The first two days of Spring Break went by rather smoothly… a little too smoothly if you ask me. Yesterday I did some community service at the Orange County Food Bank. Oh, how exciting. And today I went to my Grandma’s funeral (she died in Vietnam a few hours before). Tomorrow I need to start studying!!!! Well, at least I get to oversleep. Duh.
4-17-07: Virginia Tech: RIP. This shouldn’t have happened. Worse than Columbine. Apparently, there was some sort of love triangle going on between the shooter and his girlfriend. Whichever the case, murder was not the right method of handling this. AHH. It’s all over the news.
I haven’t had a meaningful blog post in a while; but that can’t possibly be my fault? I’ve been preoccupied with other things (hopefully I can get to that).
So I’ve finally realized the point of having a Xanga. And no, it’s not so that when I’m 100 years old, I can look back and grow reminiscent of all my past years as a teenager. I wouldn’t want to live something twice, I’d rather explore the future. So in a way that would theoretically make a Xanga pointless? WRONG! Just now, 7:40 PM. May 8th, 2007, I’ve realized it. The point of Xanga, at least in my opinion, is to display to the world who you are – because they might not always see you the way you see yourself. And also, it will help teach your children how flawed you are and help them learn from your past errors. (duh duh duh?).
Live life one day at a time. I wouldn’t normally want to revisit my past, but I’d rather make this blog super just to waste yours and potentially everyone else’s time. All throughout history, there have been clashes between the underdog and the villian; and everyone knows eventually the underdog will pull through. Surely, I will pull through to to become the person I was destined to be. People need to start realizing that life lessons in the past will shape them into the future. (blah blah blah).
I could sit here typing about block scheduling, but that really doesn’t help the world. But I have learned several things this year that is totally relevant to life in limited respects.
1. Don’t overreact. Declaring war on someone because they hacked into your computer doesn’t help the world, and only prolongs everyone’s suffering. =D
2. Don’t pick on people. Not that I do, but people need to start realizing that this kind of taunting (seen in some high school shows) only creates a sense of isolation for some students, which can lead to disaster (such as the unspeakable Virginia Tech).
3. Balance your time wisely.
4. Obsessions are attachments are bad, and can lead to tragedy in the long run.
5. The ends justifies the means.
6. It only takes one person to make a difference.
7. Life is a constant struggle between happiness and sadness, with a bit of suffering in between.
8. The way you perceive life, is the way it’s ultimately going to turn out.
9. Block Scheduling is depressing!!!
* 10. Most of all, it’s life. And I’ll take some advice from Patrick Park for a minute here (who)? Well Life is a dream, cause we’re all walking in our sleep. You could see us stand in lines like we’re dead upon our feet. And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall. Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all.The end.
5-10-07: Tomorrow is my United States History AP test. Strangely however, I am not nervous. This could be due to cockiness or confidence (but I doubt it). I know my weaknesses and don’t feel obligated at all to review them. In retrospect, learning about US history wasn’t very fun, because Americans, in one way or another, are stupid. [No offense.] What they’ve for years have been stupid, but I firmly believe American will rise up once again and become the nation it was ORIGINALLY supposed to be, but was steered into the wrong direction by some stupid presidents. (JEFFERSON. AHH)
In other news, The aids walk is this Saturday, and I’m going.
As for tomorrow, I have to…. get breakfast from the US room, get the aids walk shirt and then deliver them so people don’t get pissed at me (my bad!). And then take the AP test for a few hours, and then go home realizing that I have another one on Monday.
I’ll Stand by you. I’ll stand by you. I won’t let nobody hurt you.
5-13-07: Tomorrow is my Biology AP test. I’m semi-nervous because I semi-don’t know anything (I’m better at history & English than math & science).
I’m taking the SAT 2′s on June 2nd at Santa Ana High School, which will be the three tests – Biology, United States History, and Math II Subject tests.
With roughly more than a month of school left, I must get all my grades up.
Oh, and Aids walk was fun yesterday, just like last year, and the year before. <24.
5-14-07: Today, I took my AP Biology test. I’m not sure I did so well, but I’m not stressing over it. Sigh, I’ll take what I can getttt anyway, as long as I passed I’m fine. All the weight of AP tests have been lifted off my shoulders.
I’ve reached a consensus on who I am as a person. Of course, I will not bother to type it up on Xanga. I now know ALL my weaknesses, and know what I can do to improve upon them. The end.
5-15-07: Complacency: A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy.
It’s too bad I’m not yet complacent, because I understand the danger/trouble/controversy that I might have to ultimately deal with.
For starters, there’s no reason to stress, but when you’re getting white & gray hair like me, you know there has to be a problem.
Next year, I’m going to have a find a new center of my life. One that doesn’t require getting attached to every single thing/person I meet. Freedom/and Detachment is all I need. Mixed with a little pessimism.
5-17-07: Let’s see.
1.] I got a haircut. Maybe I should consider combing it tomorrow.
2.] Blake Lewis made it to the Finals in American Idol. One more step and he wins.
3.] The 2007-2008 Fall/Midseason FOX Lineup was announced today. So exciting. 24 returns January 2008, after its season finale on Monday of Course.
And I need a new center in my life.
Give me something to believe in
‘Cause I don’t believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try, yeah
So this is goodbye
5-20-07: I liked this weekend. I really did. Lots of work, but it wasn’t too bad.
Sonny, Brian, and Juan came over. We got a bulk of the DBQ project done. We just need to do the poster (in class or Memorial day weekend). Well, I did most of the work while Sonny, Brian, and Juan had fun; but I guess that’s the way it should turn out considering I’m the leader.
They messed around. Played with turtle stuffed animals with badminton racquets. Oh, how exciting. I yelled a few times, but I kept my composure for the most part. I’m glad they came over, I enjoyed the company.
Simpsons 400th episode tonight.
club meeting tomorrow, and 24 season finale.
blake lewis? american idol tuesday-wednesday
Saturday? VOC event. maybe
I need to go to the Strawberry Festival.
5-26-07: Beach cleanup today.
It was kind of fun. I got wet. I played football/volleyball. I broke my Ipod and I ran into a hole.
DBQ project with Sonny, Brian, and Juan Tomorrow
& then Abortion debate preparation with Sonny, Brian, Liziel, Ngokie, Thutrang, Judy, Sazzy, Truc, etc.
Monday. Strawberry festival? Hopefully.
5-28-07: I support the soldiers in Iraq. I think they’re doing their country proud, whether or not the Democratic protesters care or not.
Today I went to…. Mimi’s Cafe, Wal-mart, Westminster Mall, Dollar Tree, & Pizza Hut. I was going to go to Strawberry Festival but we couldn’t find any parking in good enough walking distance of the festival . Lol.
And thus I’ve reached a conclusion. Life wouldn’t be exciting or thrilling if we weren’t in some way moving forward. People need to feel that they’re progressing for a certain goal in life – whether graduation, a girl, or any other situation. If there’s nothing to move forward to, life will just be stable and thus be BORING. But taking risks in life is all the rage, and the “Carpe Diem” way of living could be taken into effect – SEIZE THE DAY.
5-30-07: And so marks the end of this bold 2-month experiment; it wouldn’t really be considered a failure, after all it all goes back to my decision in the first place.
I’m going to try to be a little more optimistic this June. I need to pursue some more experiments, and even if they turn out to be failures, I can at least say I gave the effort.
School is almost over. Thank God/Buddha/Allah/Jesus/Anyone? Seems like forces are pulling me internally apart, and I can’t even began to figure out who I am yet. If 16 years of school has taught me anything, it’s that I still have not discovered myself as a person, and that ultimately will result in failure.
5-31-07: No, a REALLY BAD day. I haven’t decided whether or not I should disturb the universe yet in June.
So I didn’t feel like taking English AP. So Mr. Mackey wants to cancel English Honors. STOOPID. I’m okay with taking regular english if they just remove the English honors, but I am NOT taking AP no matter how hard they try to force me to.
And another thing: In Choir Class today, Ms. Carillo’s class came. Our choir class went outside to practice dancing. At the same time, Ms. Carillo’s class with inside the choir room. Several girls from all class put their stuff in the room, and when they got back, it was stolen. The assistant principle came, and they treated us all like criminals and began searching all our items without a warrant. LAME. I had to stay after school just to be searched. 60 bucks and a cell phone were stolen, but only the 60 bucks were found. LAME. As I went home, I found my dad left without me by calling my mom. Then, I asked Carmen to give me a ride home. She did. I saw my dad, left, and then went home with home.
Gosh, what a long day.
Do I dare disturb the universe? Yes.
6-01-07: . History presentation wasn’t too good.
. Choir Banquet wasn’t too good.
I feel ill-prepared for SAT II’s tomorrow. Shoot.
6-04-07: I’m in the course of determining my future.
How about I start with being a movie screenwriter?
Here are some of my screenplays:
1) A male prostitute & a female prostitute accidentally meet one another, and they fall in love. Together, they break away from prostitution.
2) A nerd and a cheerleader fall in love…. only to find out they are really brother and sister.
3.) A lonely man in his mid 20′s who can’t find love builds a time machine. He travels back into the past and falls in love with his mom, to become his future dad.
4.) An alien comes down to Earth and falls in love with a human. Turns out the alien is GOD. God then creates millions of clones of the human he falls in love with. These clones attack the earth wiping out the entire human population, except 1. That one human that remains has to asexually reproduce the entire human population to attack the clones and kill them to save the human civilization.
Okay, so maybe I won’t be a screenwriter.
6-07-07: I need to find my rite of passage into adulthood.
And if you don’t know what that means, you can go fuck yourself.
6-11-07: A few issues must be addressed in today’s Xanga Blog.
I need to toughen up eventually. I’m too sensitive, too weak, too lame, too bullshit, and I always put myself in the position to get hurt. I can’t do that anymore.
My Choir Concert is on Friday. I’m not nervous, not scared, not ready, not willing. But I’ll do it. Banquet Saturday? Umm suree. Next..
As for the DAMN Rite of Passage. 8 days of school left – 8 chances left. If I don’t do something, I will be stuck as a boy all my life. My fate relies on my willingness to turn into an adult.
3 more days of school left, and then summer school comes rolling in. That’s much more relaxing
Monday: Regular Schedule
Tuesday: APUSH, BIO, and PRECALC
Wednesday: SPANISH, ENGLISH, and CHOIR
I will not be a kid no longer.
6-17-07: Let’s first sum up my weekend.
Choir Concert (Friday) was pretty interesting. Our Choir messed up a lot, but I had a lot of fun.
VOC Banquet was okay, not great/not boring. But ehh… it was missing something.
My Sister’s Graduation was boring. No offense, but hearing 450 names for 2 hours straight = zzz.
6-22-07: School ended on Wednesday, June 20th.
So how does it feel to be a Senior? It feels bad. Really bad. I feel old. I just want to be a kid again and not have to deal with summer hwk.
So to sum up my week.
Monday: Wrote my math teacher a poem. Don’t ask why.
Wednesday: Went to Graduation and saw some of my senior friends leave FOREVER. DUN DUN DUN.
Thursday: Went to Target to buy my sister a birthday gift and a radio with my $25 walmart giftcard from my friends at Nesquik
Friday: Did Calculus Math Packet.
I need to start English AP hwk, must buy the books tomorrow. Okay bye.
I also did my first video project during this year, my “Spanish video” project – in three parts, listed below:
I forgot to mention that I was in choir this year…. Nunez was such an amazing teacher, but he really needed to be more stricter (half of his class ditched, and thus I was able to attain a solo in his class).
Here’s a transcript of the song that was performed at the end of the year (Guys and Dolls) [my solo is in bold]
“What’s playing at the Roxy?
I’ll tell you what’s playing at the roxy.
A picture bout a Minnesota man so in love with a Mississippi girl
that he sacrifices everything and moves all the way to Biloxi
That’s what playing at the Roxy.
What’s in the Daily News?
I’ll tell you what’s in the Daily News.
Story about a guy who bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise would have been his union dues
That’s what in the Daily News.
What’s happening all over?
I’ll tell you what’s happening all over
Guys sitting home by a television set
Who once used to be something of a rover
That’s what happening all over.
Lov eis the thing that has licked em’
And it looks like Nathan’s just another victim.
When you see a guy
Reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he’s doing it for some doll
When you find a John
Waiting out in the rain
Chances are he’s insane
As only a John can be for Jane
When you meet a gent
Paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
Call it sad, Call it funny
But it’s better than even money
That the guy’s only doing it for some dol
Some Doll, the guy’s only doing it …
for some dollllllll
Luck be a lady Tonight.
Luck be a lady Tonight.
Luck if you’ve ever been a lady to begin with
Luck be a lady tonight
Luck let a gentlemen see
How nice a dame you can be
I know the way you’ve treated other guys you’ve been with
Luck be a lady with me
A lady doesn’t leave her escort
It isn’t fair, it isn’t nice
A lady wouldn’t wander all over the room
And blow on some other guy’s dice
Let’s keep the party polite
Never get out of my sight
Stick with me baby
I’m the fellow you came in with
Luck be a lady..
Luck be a lady..
Lucy be a lady tonight
Roll em. Roll em. Roll em. Tonight. Ha!
I got the horse right here
His name is Paul Revere
And here’s a guy that says if the weather’s clear
Can do, can do, this guy says the horse can do
If he says the horse can do, can do, can do
For Paul Revere I’ll bite, I hear his foot’s all right
Of course, it all depends if it rained last night
Likes mud, Likes mud, this “x” means the horse likes mud
If that means the horse likes mud, likes mud, likes mud
I’m picking Valentine, cause on the morning line
The guy got him figured at five to nine
Has chance, has chance, This guy says the horse has chance
If he says the horse has chance, has chance, has chance
I know it’s Valentine, the morning work looks fine
Besides the jockey’s brother’s a friend of mine
Needs race, needs race, my friend says the horse needs race
But look at Epitaph, he wins it by a half
According to this here in the telegraph
Big threat, big threat, this guy call the horse big threat
If he calls the horse big threat, big threat, big threat
And just minute boys, I’ve got the feedbox noise
It says the great grandfather was Equipoise
Epitaph – Valentine – Paul Revere – I got the horse right here
I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
Barrel and a heap, and I’m talking in my sleep
About you, about you, about you
My heart is leaping, I’m having trouble sleeping
Cause I love you, a bushel and a peack
Ya bet your purty neck I do
Doodle Doodle Doodle, Doodle Doodle Doodle
Doodle Doodle Doodle Doo! Shh!
Doodle Doodle Doodle, Doodle Doodle Doodle
Doodle Doodle Doodle Doo!
Ask me how do I feel
Ask me now that we’re cozy and clinging
Well sir, all I can say is
If I were a bell I’d be ringing
From the moment we kissed tonight
That’s the way I’ve just got to behave
Boy, if I were a lamp I’d light
Or If I were a banner I’d wave
Ask me how do I feel
Little me with my quiet upbringing
Well, sir all I can say,
Is If I were a gate I’d be swinging
And if I were a watch I’d start
Popping my spring
Or if I were a bell, I’d go
Ding dong Ding dong Ding
Ding Dong Ding Dong Ding
I’ve never been in love before
Now all at once it’s you
It’s you forever more
I’ve never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score
But this is wine
That’s all too strange and strong
I’m full of foolish song
And out my song must pour
So please forgive this helpless haze I’m in
I’ve really never been in love before
The average unmarried female, basically insecure
Due to some long frustration may react
With pscyhosomatic symptons, difficult to endure
Affecting the upper respiratory tract
In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold
A person can develop a cold
You can feed her all day with the vitamin A and the Bromo fizz
But the medicine never gets anywhere near where the trouble is
If she’s getting a kind of a name for herself and the name ain’t his
A person can develop a cough
And furthermore, just from stalling and stalling and stalling the wedding trip
A person can develop la grippe, la grippe, la post nasal drip
With the wheezes and the sneezes and and a sinus that’s really a pip!
From a lack of community property and a feeling she’s getting too old,
A person can develop a bad, bad, cold. Ah choo!
I dreamed last night I got on the boat to heaven
And by some chance I had brought my dice along
And there I stood and I hollered “Someone fade me”
But the passengers they knew right from Wrong
So I said to myself sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat
People all said sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat
And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapel of your checkered coat
Sit down, Sit down, Sit down, Sit down, you’re rocking the boat
And as I laughed at those passengers to heaven,
A great big wave came and washed me overboard
And as I sank and I hollered “Someone save me”
That’s the moment I woke up thank the Lord
And I said to myself sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat
Said to myself sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat
And the devil will drag you under with a soul so heavy you’d never float
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, you’re rocking the boat
Sit down you’re rocking, rocking the boat.
Sit down you’re rocking, rocking the boat.
Sit down you’re rocking, rocking the boat.
Sit down you’re rocking, rocking the boat.
Sit down you’re rocking the boat!”
Hence ends my Junior Year of high school.